im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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