im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
