Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
