He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
