Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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