hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
