She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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