Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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