Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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