Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
