youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
