i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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