Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
a search helicopter?!
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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