you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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