After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
