he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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