dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
