For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
