I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
