sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
