im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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