..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
