Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
