2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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