just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
