Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We are all done wearing pants today
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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