I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
