Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
