Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
