I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
