i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
