I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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