I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
