We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
