I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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