I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
