Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His nipple licking is glorious
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