ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
