dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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