Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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