I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
