Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize