I love black thongs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize