I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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