all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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