If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
