her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
