thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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