very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
