If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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