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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
