and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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