Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
