the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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