oh god the rape fog is back!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
