What a fucking waste of an outfit
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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