I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize