i was born a porn star she said
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm bleeding and have questions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
